Yesterday on the train home from work, I decided to have a word with myself.

It has occurred to me many times that it's amazing the power the mind can have on the body.  In the case of anxiety, the perceived threat generated in the mind causes all sorts of genuine physical reactions.  The body prepares itself for danger in the same way it would if your eyes registered a car speeding towards you.  But the only prompt for danger is my own thoughts.

So I decided, if my mind can have such a strong effect in a bad way, then it must be able to have a strong good effect too.  And it's not like I've completely lost my marbles, my mind is still under my control.  If I keep up with the positive thoughts then my body will react in a positive way, right?  It's logical.

My mum borrowed a self-help book for me, specifically aimed at people with anxiety, panic disorder and phobias.  I've had a look through it and it seems to have some pretty good ideas about self-hypnosis and deep breathing exercises.  My doctor suggested 6 months ago that I should get such a book while waiting for my psychology sessions to start but I never got round to it.  But now I've got one I have no excuse so I will give it a go.

I'm also planning to take up some kind of class when I save a bit of money.  Maybe some kind of martial arts.  I think the exercise will do me good, not cus I particularly need it physically, but to burn off the excess energy, unwind and maybe even help me sleep better.  And of course there's the social aspect of it.  If I can save up enough before September I'm also thinking of starting an Open University course.  I'm not sure yet if it will be an accountancy course to help further my current career, or if I will do a science-related course, purely for the learning experience and because I loved science subjects at school and college.  They were the only ones that made sense!  That will keep my brain active, I hope, stop me from thinking about myself, and give me goals and achievements.

All in all, I think I'd like to try living a bit.  I'm sure I will still get anxious and panicky at times but hopefully the more positive energy I can get, the less frequent they will be.

V